Where Have All the Good Men Gone?
by kodoku na oujo
Summary: Ino finds Sakura, whom had just been rejected by Sasuke again, at a cafe and they end up talking about the disappointing pick of guys in Konohagakure. No pairing


**I know... this probably sucks. I put off submitting it, because I was so insecure about this X/... I really have no self-confindence what-so-ever!! XP lol. Well anyway... More Sakura…. Uggh :disgust:. Well at least she's suffering hee, hee. I actually like this fic. It's just too funny. I mean, doesn't everyone love talking about how all the guys around you seem to be idiots? I do ((cuz it's true)). But please do not think that I really think this way about the guys of Naruto. Cuz I love them all XD. Okay... well maybe I added in a bit of personal thoughts about the guys' flaws... but I really do love them and Sakura and Ino... I would gladly acept the chance to date any one of them ((Shino too... if I didn't see the bugs. Ewww XP))!! Okay well, this takes place before Sasuke left Konohagakure, because I have them desribing them while they were all still Genin. Just incase that wasn't clear while reading it ((although the time doesn't really matter I guess)). Enjoy it anyway!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto… cuz if I did, it would probably be for people 18 and up :giggle:.**

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Haruno Sakura sat alone at a table right outside of a small café. Her arm sat on the table and supported her head, which she had resting in her hand. She just sat there and swirled the contents of her drink with her straw as she stared at it. She had ordered it to make her feel better, but now she just looked at it in disgust. She sighed as she stopped stringing her drink and used her now free arm to help support her head like her other arm. 

"Hey there, Billboard Brow!" a cheery voice called out to Sakura. The owner of the voice, Yamanaka Ino, then appeared about a meter away from her rival.

Sakura just sighed in reply. She didn't feel like putting up with Ino's insults right now. The blonde haired girl took notice of this and decided to sit down with her rival.

"What's wrong with you today, Sakura?" Ino said as she sat in the chair across from the pink haired girl. "No comeback and calling me 'Ino-pig?' Something has to be wrong. Spill."

Sakura sighed again. She was somewhat revealed that Ino was not going to make fun of her for acting like she was.

"Well, if you must know," Sakura started to say. She paused as if to stall for what little time she could get. "Sasuke rejected me completely!" Sakura began to whine and then buried her head in her arms.

"What do you mean 'completely?'" Ino inquired as she raised her one eyebrow in confusion.

"Sasuke just told me…" Sakura pulled her head out of her arms. Her voice was almost shouting at Ino. "He just told me…" Sakura said much softer this time. Still stopped herself before she could finish her statement. _She_ could hardly believe what she was about to say.

"Told you what? Just tell me already."

"Sasuke just told me he's… He's gay." Sakura whispered the last part to the blonde. Ino's eye widened all the way and she jumped away from Sakura.

"WHAT?!" Ino shouted. People stared at the two girls and wondered what had happened.

"Shhh!" Sakura put her finger to lips. "Everyone will hear you. Stop overreacting, Ino-pig."

"Well it's kind of hard to _not_ overeat, Billboard Brow." Ino said in a hushed voice as she glared at Sakura. Ino's glared disappeared as quickly as it came when she remembered what Sakura had just said. "I can't… I just _can't_ believe this!"

"I know." Sakura said as she looked at her drink again. "I overreacted too. Now I'm almost certain Sasuke hates me."

"Well, I could see why he would be upset." Ino stated. Sakura tensed as the blonde spoke. "I mean overreacting to someone's sexuality right in front of them. It would make anyone angry." Ino then looked over at her friend. She noticed how heart-broken she looked. "But I'm pretty sure he doesn't hate you. You know how Sasuke is. He'll cool down eventually."

Sakura give a weak smile at her friend. "Yeah, but it still isn't fair." Sakura said feeling a little better. She felt good enough to finally take a small sip of her drink, which she did.

"Not fair?" Ino asked.

"Yeah, it's not fair. Sasuke is the only guy our age that's date-worthy." Ino could not help but laugh at this comment.

"Isn't that the truth." Ino agreed. "I mean take the guys on my team. Choji. I mean he's nice and everything, but I think he loves food more than people. I've never seen him without some sort of food going into his mouth."

Sakura laughed. "He isn't the nicest thing to look at either. I mean with the way he has his hair sticking up out of his headband." Sakura motioned her hands as to show Ino hair that would be sticking up from her own head if she had Choji's hairstyle.

"Then there's Shikamaru. Not bad on looks, but he's just so God damn lazy. He barely says anything at all and when he does speak, it's usually to say how, and I quote, '_so troublesome_' things are." Sakura giggled as the blonde imitated the annoyed look Shikamaru usually wore on his face. "And he spends most of his time, just staring up at the clouds. I swear, that man is hopeless."

"Yeah, well the guy on my team is not much better." Sakura added in. "Naruto. God, I have never met a more annoying person in my life. He's always going on and on about how he's going to Hokage. And I swear, if I have to here 'Dattebayo' one more time, I will kill him right on the spot." Ino laughed as Sakura imitated Naruto's voice when she said his catch phrase.

"Not to mention how he's always trying to pick a fight with Sasuke." Ino said as she leaned back into her chair. "I don't know why those two always feel the need to get under the other's skin."

Sakura's smiled started to fade as Ino mentioned Sasuke. Ino noticed this after a second and then thought quickly to keep her friend happy.

"But, uh, anyway," Ino said trying to sound really happy. "There are still worse guys out there. Like a certain guy with… 'Fuzzy Eyebrows.'" Ino tried to hold back her laughter as Sakura gave a disgusted expression.

"Rock Lee…" she hissed. "It's not that the guy isn't sweet or anything it's just… Uggh!!" Sakura squirmed in her seat. "Those eyebrows of his!! And his eyelashes!! And his bowl-cut hair!!" Sakura then paused. "But the worse part is he acts like a certain green-clad Jounin." Ino obvious knew of whom Sakura was talking, seeing as her expression became that of fright. The two girls shared a look and then shivered.

"Gai… That man is just so… creepy." Ino said as she looked around her. Her gut told her that at any moment Gai would pop up to say something about beautiful youth. Neither of the girls would deny that it sounds like something that could happen around Gai.

"Anyway, I guess there are some okay guys around here." Sakura said wanted to change the subject to anything except Gai. "Like… Kiba. I guess he isn't so bad."

"Kiba?" Ino asked as her one eyebrow rose again. "He's just as annoying and loud as Naruto. And it's kind of creepy how he's never seen without Akamaru. If I didn't know any better, I would say he had a thing for the dog."

Sakura started laughing once again. "Yeah, well at least he's not bad to look at."

"Speaking of which. His teammate, Shino. Have you ever even seen his full face?" Ino asked as she leaned forward. "I mean, every time I've seen him, he's wearing those sunglasses and hiding half of his head behind that jacket of his."

"I don't really know much about him anyway, other than he has those bugs inside of him." Sakura shuddered a bit. "He pretty much keeps to himself. I guess he's the strong silent type."

"I know of another guy that fits the 'strong silent type' description." Ino said with a smirk. "Neji. Well he definitely talks more than some of the other guys we know, but not _that_ much more."

"Neji is actually pretty handsome." Sakura said cheerfully. "The only thing is… He's eyes scare me a little. Just thinking about those pale gray, pupil-less eyes makes me nervous. I feel like he can see right through me."

"With his Byakugan, he probably could." Ino said in a mocking tone as she gave the pink haired girl a smirk.

"You know what I mean." Sakura said sharply at the blonde in front of her. "Geez… Is it really that much to ask for a normal guy. Just one is all I'm asking."

"It figures we be stuck with a bunch of weirdos and fools to pick from." Ino said in an annoyed tone. "I have a feeling we'll be single for quite some time with the guys we have to choose from."

Sakura laughed at Ino remark. After she was done laughing she looked up at her blonde friend with a smile. "Thanks, Ino." the pink haired girl said.

"Huh?" Ino said, as she was not expecting Sakura to say that. "For what?"

"For cheering me up and making me feel better about the whole 'Sasuke' thing." Sakura's smiled grew larger as she spoke. "I was feeling sorry for myself and I needed a good laugh. I can always count on you to make me feel better, Ino."

Ino just stared at her friend so a moment before smiling as well. "Not a problem." Ino then paused for a moment. Her warm smile then turned into a smirk. "Actually... We do have a problem, Sakura."

"Hn. What's that?"

"Well now that we know that neither of us can have Sasuke, we'll have to find a new guy to fight over."

"After what we just talked about, I think we should just stick to trying to get Sasuke." Sakura said with a nervous laugh. "How hard can it be to turn a gay guy straight, anyway?"

"I bet I could make Sasuke straight again, Billboard Brow." Ino gave a competitive smirk to her rival.

"And I say that I will be the one who can make him straight, Ino-pig!" Sakura said as she rose to her feet and glared at the blonde. Ino mimicked Sakura's movements, as she too stood up and glared back at the pink haired girl.

"Yeah right!" Ino said with a smirk. "I'd like to see you try."

"Well then," Sakura said as a smirk formed on her lips. "I guess we have a new challenge." Sakura thought to herself how it didn't take long for their rivalry to reemerge.

"Seems like it." Ino said as she smirked back. "Well, I love to stay and chat, but I've got to get going. I have much more important things to do." Ino then turned to walk away from Sakura.

"Ino." Sakura called out to her friend. The blonde turned back to face her rival and saw Sakura nod to her with a smirk. Ino knowing that Sakura was thanking her again for helping her, nodded her head as well.

The two of them then went their separate ways. The two girls both knew that after what they had just talked about, they could never look at the boys in their life without laughing their heads off anymore.

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:Throws hands in the air and rejoices: I told you I would make you suffer Sakura!! Take that:Sings: Sasuke is gay! Now quickly!! Lock him in a room with Naruto!! Lol… I really wanted them to talk about Gaara ((and maybe even Kankuro)) as well, but adding him in seemed kind of… random. But it would have been so funny if Gai-sensei actually did pop up out of nowhere and scare the two girls. Please, even I'm not that mean that I would sick Gai on Sakura… :thinks for a moment: Or am I :Evil laughter: I hope you enjoyed this!! I had fun writing it!! Please review :begging you readers:. **


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